Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Dairy-Free Yogurt Competition.

The only thing I really miss most about dairy is greek yogurt.  I ate that stuff like there was no tomorrow.  Chobani brand vanilla yogurt has a whopping 16g of protein and 0g fat for only 120 calories.  WOWZA. So, when my main source of protein was kicked outta my diet, I went and rounded up a few brands of soy and lactose-free yogurts to try and adjust to the change.

1) Stonyfield's O'Soy yogurt
Taste: Alriiiiiiight.  I guess.  It tasted like yogurtish, so that's good.
Nutrition: 170 calories (WHAT), only 7g of protein, and SO MUCH SUGAR.  26g.  Holy fuck.
Allergen Ingredients: SOY AND MILK.  I got halfway through it before noticing on the list of ingredients that it contains soy (duh) and MILK.  It's supposed to be a soy yogurt, why the heck is there any trace of dairy in there?!  GAHHHHHD, STONYFIELD.  I'm angry atchoo.
Overall: 2.  So much sugar, too many calories, and there's dairy in it.  Fail.  But hey, at least it tasted okay.

2) Yoplait lactose free yogurt

Taste: Yumdiddly.
Nutrition: 170 friggin' calories.  26g of sugar.  5g protein.  Holy cow.  This is shit.
Allergen Ingredients: MILK.  WHAT.  AGAIN?  I'm confused...
Overall: 0. So much sugar, boatload of calories, and there's dairy.  No.  Just no.

3) So Delicious coconut milk yogurt
Taste: I could eat this stuff forever.  Seriously.  It was creamy and coconutty and yogurty and mmmm.
Nutrition: 140 calories, 6g of fat, a buncha sugar, and 1 lonely gram of protein.  Crappo.
Allergen Ingredients: I CAN EAT IT!  Yay!
Overall: 3.  Tasted fantastic, but it's pretty much just empty calories.  GIMME PWOTEEEN.

4) Silk soy yogurt
Taste: Bleck.  So awful.  First of all, the only flavor in stock was strawberry banana, which is disgusting to begin with.  But then it wasn't viscous enough for me to even consider it yogurt.  Also, it was a pukey purple color.  The negatives outweigh the positives... because there were no positives.  I had to mix it with oats and raisins just to make it edible.  
Nutrition: Who cares, I'm never trying it again.
Allergen Ingredients: Whatever.  Soy.
Overall: 0.


AAAAAAND THE WINNER IS:























NONE OF 'EM.
They all suck in different ways.  I guess I'll just go without yogurt.  Ah, well.  Hip hip hooray for experimentations, I guess.  Unimpressed.



4 comments:

  1. I'm sure you've figured this out already, but the ones with dairy only promise to be "lactose free" only and not "dairy free." You can pull lactose out of dairy, like they do with cheese.

    That aside, I'm still adamant that yogurt doesn't count. My sad lactose-intolerant self has been told numerous times that yogurt is all-powerful!


    And Stonyfield yogurt is disgusting, even in regular milky form.

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    1. 'm gonna ask about the yogurt thang, because I've heard claims from both sides now... I'll letcha know!

      ...I agree. I don't know why I thought a soy Stonyfield yogurt would be any better. Naive.

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  3. Hey Caney, check out some sheep's milk yogurt. I have read that it has more calcium and protein than cow's milk yogurt. I also just read how to make it at home. Perhaps we can experience next time you're in Movegas. xxoo.

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