Birthdays = FREE FOOD EVERYWHERE.

Alright guys, if you know me enough to be reading this, you probably know that it's my birthday today.  And my, what a birthday it's been!  Here's what being 20 looks like:

(To the untrained eye, I look the same as when I was 19, but if you look closer I'm totally different in every way).

SO.  The birthday plan was to hop all over the greater Burlington area and take advantage of all those free birthday desserts that restaurants give away.  Yeah, I'm that kinda gal.  Fuck the police.  I even made a list.  First, breakfast at Denny's for a free Grand Slam, lunch at Moe's for free tacos, Applebees for free dessert, Friendly's for free dessert, IHOP for free dessert, Ben and Jerry's for free ice cream, etc etc.  Basically, my birthday plan was to eat as much free junk as I could handle and then bask in my sugar coma.  Because calories don't count on your birthday, right?  Right?!  ...Oy.  Welllllll, I didn't quite get around to going to most of those places, but here's what DID happen.

A humongo group of friends and I went out to dinner in full-out fancy mode.  We then proceeded to stuff our faces with french fries and quesadillas and crepes and burgers and pretty much everything else you can possibly imagine.  There might've even been a green salad in there somewhere, but I obviously didn't eat any of it because birthday girls only eat things that are fried or made of sugar.

Next stop: Ben and Jerry's.  I went up to the counter with my group o' girlies and was scared to ask about free junk.  My friend Taylor ended up introducing me as the birthday girl and then I did a weird curtsy thing and the whole situation got even more awkward.  But nonetheless, I got my free ice cream (lemonade sorbet, to be exact) and the awkwardness was forgotten.

Next stop was the University Marche, where I heard rumors of free cookies and hey, they DID give me a free cookie! (White chocolate macadamia nut, to be exact).  It also happens to be approximately the size of my face, therefore satisfying my junky-as-shit requirement for birthday swag.

After the frenzy of eating and hoarding as much free food as possible (yay America), I came back to the dorm to find a fantastic stash of trash food.  Seriously, like...did someone plant this stuff to make me happy on my birthday?!  I'm gonna say, probably no.  But one can dream.  Anywho.  An opened (albeit uncooked/uneaten) box of Annie's mac and cheese.  In the above picture, you can see that I'm kissing it.  That's because I'm in love with it.

The next incredible find-- my most disgusting snack obsession that goes back to the dark days of high school-- honey mustard and onion pretzel bits.  They're delicious, but they smell awful, they make your breath smell awful, they leave a disgusting yellowy residue on your fingers, etc.  But gosh darn it, I love 'em.  So if you're planning on trying to plant a smooch on me tonight, be warned.

And finally, OREOS.  There's one sleeve left, which is quite enough for me.  Cookie partayyyy!

All in all, it was a GREAT birthday; and not just the food aspect-- I happen to have the best group of friends I could possibly ask for.  Last night my lovely roommate Madeline organized a surprise party, complete with penis-shaped cupcakes, a pinata, and a ton of people who somehow managed to keep the secret from me. 

 This morning, my friend Taylor and I headed downtown and checked out my new favorite thrift store: the Possibility Shop (only open Wednesdays and Saturdays, located in a church basement.  Basically the epitome of obscure).  I obtained 2 new blazers, 2 pairs of vintage earrings, and a sweater dress, all for under FIVE DOLLARS.  Whaaaaat!  

There were also several (incredibly embarrassing) instances of spontaneous outbreaks of the happy birthday song-- in the Davis Center during dinner, in the midst of my entire dorm building during a fire alarm...  Aghhh.  Now the whole world knows it's my birthday.  Great.

THANK YOU, ERRRRBODY!