Trash Eatin' Guidelines!

Alright, let's be honest here.  No one likes being recognized as "that weird girl who eats shit from the trash," so you gotta have some guidelines to boost your self esteem and actually make it worthwhile.

1.  Be stealthy.  If you're gonna go through the garbage, don't do it during the lunch rush at Brennan's.  Duh.  Remember how I mentioned embarrassment in that first post?  Yeah.  Don't do it in largely populated places.

2.  Check the expiration date.  Check for mold.  Check for anything that might look suspiciously like a trap.  That discarded food might have been thrown away for an actual reason and you best leave it there.

3.  The stuff on top is your best bet.  If you have to get your hand goopy to get through to the good stuff, it's SO not worth it.  I may be disgusting, but I do have my limits, thank you.

4.  Packaged food is AWESOME.  If it hasn't even been opened, congratulations, you just found gold.  If it has been opened, give it a quick check-over to make sure no other trash slipped in there and then be on your merry way.

5.  Share your treasures with your friends.  Who doesn't love a good cookie party?  But, word of advice-- you should probably tell your friends where you found said cookies before they ingest them, otherwise they might spit them back at you or just generally be a little peeved.