OH MY GAHD OH MY GAHHHD

I'm gonna go ahead and say that today was the BEST trash day I've ever had.  I get all smiley and hyperventilate-y when I think back on it.  I'm overwhelmed.  I only took a few pictures because there was SO MUCH stuff and so little time.  I don't even know where to begin... 

Well, might as well start here: an unopened twin XL sheets pack.  Holy wow.  

1) WHY were these never used?!  I just don't get it. 

2) Do you know how hard extra-long twin sheets sets are to find?  They appear for like 2 weeks at Bed Bath and Beyond in mid-July and then they're nowhere to be found.  #collegeproblems

3) 400 thread-count.  That's basically Egyptian cotton, yeah?  

And then there's the incredibly random (but OH SO intriguing) emergency car flares.  So now I'll either ride around with these in Suzi the Civic for the next 15 years, orrrrr I could play with them now... hmm.  I have so many survival kits and emergency kits and just-in-case kits in my car already, what's one more?  It can go right between the tin-foily heat-retaining sleeping bag and the bag of band aids in my trunk.  Yayyyy, safety.

Here comes some re-dick-yoo-lus shit.  You are NOT going to believe me.  But you must, because I speak-a da truth and why would I lie about something as amazing as an IHOME in the trash?  Technically, it was next to the trash, but still.  (Important side note-- if you find something expensive/electronic/TOO new in the garbage, go find out who threw it away and double check to make sure it was actually supposed to get thrown away).  I almost felt guilty finding this... it's not just a half-eaten bag of tortilla chips, this is something expensive and lasting and not edible.  I'm super excited about it, but MAN... why was it thrown out?!?!  SO CURIOUS.  Maybe it's cursed?  I have no fucking idea.

WHY.

Aaaaand finally, the piece de resistance: POWER RANGERS COSTUME.  Downstairs near the front-desk area, there are these huge bins for people to dump stuff they don't want (obviously I'm there all the time, duhh) and I went down to donate some clothes, when all of a sudden-- I saw a bit of red peeking out.  I had to investigate.  I pulled out a plastic bag containing the costume, a pair of mid-thigh spanks, and a palstic vine.  Weirdo combo, but hey, who am I to quip about weirdness... I'll take my Power Rangers costume with spanks any day.

You can't just find a costume and NOT put it on.  I was a Power Ranger for a good portion of the day.  I might wear it for a good portion of tomorrow too.  And maybe the next day.  Ya know what?  Maybe I'll just never take it off.

So... that was my day.  I also found a bunch more food, a sequin-y vest, a pillow sham, an Anne Taylor polka dot dress, a laptop lock, etc etc etc.  Basically, I'm a trashy maniac.  Mmm, life is good.